As a leading member of the UK's male chauvinist pig club I have never ever bothered to learn to cook! Although I do admit to making the occasional omelette, and lashing out from time to time on a bacon and egg fry up, the mysteries of the cooking stove have always eluded me and anyway, I've always been too bone idle to even try. I'm a past master at heating up frozen meals from the supermarket and when I can prise out of my wife the number of minutes needed, I can also boil an egg. Anything else is - or has been - quite beyond my limited capabilities.

Over the last few years, the British TV companies have become so strapped for cash (or they want to boost their profits even higher) that they churn out ever increasing numbers of cooking programmes along with garden and house makeovers. The cooking programmes really annoy me. Why? Because 90% of the cooks are male, I get hungry just watching them, and they make me feel guilty about being so useless.

Retirement has now struck me. I do however still send my wife out to work so she can keep me in the manner to which I have grown accustomed. This is a roundabout way of explaining why I've decided to have a go at cooking. To my amazement, I've discovered that not only can I rustle up something that tastes - and looks - good, I now actually ENJOY producing edible food. Quite a novel experience. If I can do it, anyone can!

This web site is my attempt to share a few recipes with others and to encourage yet more helpless/idle males to follow suit.

Please bear in mind that in order to still retain my membership in the male chauvinist pig club, I only agree to cook one meal a week. There is a limit one just cannot go beyond!

Dave

1. Mix all the ingredients together with the French Dressing and chopped mint. Serve well chilled.

French Dressing (Vinaigrette). Whilst you can buy a bottle of the stuff it's more satisfying to make your own.

1. Put all the ingredients into a screw-top jar. Before using, shake well until well emulsified.
2. The dressing can be flavoured with crushed garlic, mustard, a pinch of sugar, chopped fresh herbs etc.

SERVES 4

1. Mix the marinade ingredients together and leave the chicken breasts in it overnight or as long as possible.
2. Heat the oven to 200C/400F/gas mark 6.
3. Place the chicken and the marinade in a roasting pan and cook for 30 minutes.
4. Meanwhile, mix all the sauce ingredients together.
5. When the chicken is cooked, arrange on a warm serving dish, garnish with watercress and serve the sauce separately.

SERVES 4-6

1. Preheat grill. Season the fish with salt & pepper. Arrange them on an oiled rack in the grill pan and brush the tops of the steaks with the melted butter.
2. Grill about 4 inches (10cm) from the heat for 4 -5 minutes on each side or until cooked. Brush with more melted butter when you turn the steaks.
3. Meanwhile, for the sauce, combine the ingredients into a saucepan and bring to the boil, whisking constantly. Simmer, whisking, until the sauce thickens. Remove from the heat and keep warm
4. Transfer the fish to warmed plates. Spoon over the sauce and serve immediately, with lemon wedges.

SERVES 4

1. Melt half the butter or margarine in a frying pan in a frying pan over a high heat. Add raw prawns, if using, and cook until they turn pink and opaque, about 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside.
2. Melt the remaining butter or margarine in the frying pan. Add the onions and spring onions and cook until softened, 3-4 minutes, stirring frequently
3. Stir in the lemon juice and wine. Bring to the boil, scraping the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon to mix in the cooking juices.
4. Add the cream. Simmer until the mixture thickens, 3-4 minutes, stirring frequently. Stir in the mustard.
5. Return the fried prawns to the pan and reheat briefly OR add the cooked prawns at this stage and heat through, about 2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and serve.

SERVES 4

1. Cut the meat into neat pieces.
2. 2. Peel and slice the potatoes and onions. They should be about quarter if an inch thick.
3. Fill the casserole with alternate layers of meat, onions and potato, sprinkling salt and pepper (or my alternative!) over each layer and ending with a layer of potato. I also tend to add at each stage a sprinkling of finely chopped mint although this is technically not a genuine "Lancashire Hotpot"!
4. Pour enough hot water to fill half the casserole.
5. Put the butter or margarine on top in small pieces and put on the lid.
6. If the casserole has no lid, then spread margarine or butter over greaseproof paper and tuck this securely over the top.
7. Bake in the coolest part of the oven for 2 hours at 190C.
8. Take lid or paper off for the last 20 minutes to brown the top.
9. Garnish with parsley.

An easy & economical salad which makes an tasty vegetarian lunch - or nice at the barbecue.

1. Place the chopped tomato and onion slices into a large serving bowl and mix well. Stir in the kidney beans.
2. Mix the chilli, coriander, olive oil, garlic and lime juice together in a jug and season to taste with salt and pepper.
3. Pour the dressing over the salad and toss thoroughly. Serve immediately or cover with Clingfilm and leave to chill in the refrigerator until required.

4 pork chops, about 175g/6 oz each

2 tbsp white wine

1 onion, chopped

415g/14 oz tin of canned peach halves in natural juice, drained

1 tbsp pink or green peppercorns (preferably freeze dried or dehydrated - not those in vinegar or brine)

150ml/5 fl oz Chicken stock (OXO chicken cube in water is fine!)

2-3 tsp Balsamic vinegar

Salt and pepper

1. Heat half the sunflower oil in a large, heavy based frying pan. Add the chops and cook for 6 minutes on each side, or until browned and cooked through. Transfer to a plate, cover and keep warm. Pour off any excess fat from the frying pan. Add the wine and cook for 2 minutes, stirring and scraping any sediment from the base of the frying pan. Pour the liquid over the meat, re-cover and keep warm.
2. Wipe out the pan with kitchen paper and heat the remaining sunflower oil. Add the onion and cook over a low heat, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes, or until softened. Meanwhile slice the peach halves.
3. Add the peaches to the frying pan and heat through for 1 minute. Stir in the peppercorns, pour in the chicken stock and bring to simmering point. Return the chops and cooking juices to the frying pan and season to taste with vinegar, salt and pepper. Transfer to warmed plates and serve.

1. Remove the skin from the chicken quarters. Heat the oil in a wide, heavy pan and fry the chicken, turning occasionally until golden-brown
2. 2. Using a sharp knife, deeseed and slice the pepper and peel and slice the onion. Add the pepper and onion to the pan and fry gently to soften
3. Add the garlic with the tomatoes, wine and oregano. Season well with salt and pepper, then bring to the boil, cover and simmer gently for 45 minutes or until the chicken is tender.
4. Thinly slice the chorizo and add to the pan together with the prawns, then simmer for a further 5 minutes. Adjust the seasoning and serve with rice

1. Heat the oil in a frying pan, add the fish steaks, season with salt and pepper and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, until browned on both sides but not cooked through. Remove from the pan and reserve.
2. Add the onion, garlic, red pepper and spices and cook over a very low heat for 2 minutes stirring frequently(if the heat is too high the spices will burn and lose their flavour). Add the tomatoes, bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes.
3. Add the fish steaks to the pan and simmer gently for 8 minutes, or until the fish is cooked through. Remove from the pan with a slotted spoon and keep warm on a serving dish.
4. Add the coconut milk and corriander to the pan and reheat gently. Spoon the sauce over the cod steaks and serve immediately.

1. Cook the potatoes in boiling, salted water for 15 minutes, then drain. When cool enough to handle, peel off the skins and slice them thinly.
2. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a heavy frying pan and fry the onions over a medium to low heat for about 10 minutes, stirring frequently. Add the garlic and continue cooking for a few minutes more, until the onions are soft and golden.
3. Layer half the potato slices in a 2 litr/3.5 pint/8 cup baking dish. Cover with half the onions. Season with salt and pepper.
4. Place the fish fillets on top of the vegetables and tuck in the herbs between them. Top with tomato slices and then the remaining onions and potatoes.
5. Pour over the orange juice, wine and saffron liquid, season with salt and pepper and drizzle a little extra olive oil on top. Bake in a pre-heated oven at 190C/375F/Gas 5, uncovered for about 30 minutes, until the potatoes are tender and the fish is cooked.